👷‍♂️ What I’ve Been Up To...

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Hello Fellow Engineers!

Welcome to Real Civil Newsletter - the only newsletter where balloons are aggressively optimised out of existence, cities are dismantled politely by engineers, and “bridges” are judged harshly for refusing to be bridges.

This week I’m snowboarding in the Alps (successfully), Paddy is on holiday, and engineering remains undefeated. Inside you’ll find another Balloon Hater giveaway, underwater chaos that feels suspiciously like real project planning and one of Europe’s most stubborn mega-projects!

Let’s dive into it 👇

What I’ve Been Up To…

As some of you know, and hopefully those that didn't were oblivious thanks to me scheduling videos (pat on the back for past Matt), I'm currently snowboarding in the French Alps!

As you can see by the picture I snapped in a gondola - it is beautiful out here, though I am missing Paddy, who is having a dog holiday with my in-laws!

🎈 Balloon Hater - a game about solving one very stupid problem with increasingly aggressive optimisation.

You hate balloons.
You destroy balloons.
You upgrade your tools until balloons become a historical mistake.
More areas unlock with more balloons, because the problem refuses to stay solved.

It’s an incremental clicker, which means it starts casually and ends with you wondering when balloon eradication became your full-time job.

And yes - we’re doing it again 🥁
We’re giving away ANOTHER TEN copies, because one rollout wasn’t enough and engineers hate under-delivery.

🎉 This week’s winners:
nickbernhardt607
aidan.seppings
linuxchan
harveybwread
reubyrocks123
emile.2021
seralvati
pauvaliente
b.vilier
gwenythmay

As always: submit a bridge in this email’s poll if you want to join more giveaways!

👷‍♂️ Truss Me, I’m an Engineer…

This week’s entry comes courtesy of Bjorn, a viewer from Antwerp, who casually emailed in to say:
“By the way, my city is currently being dismantled and reassembled by engineers.”

Allow me to introduce the Oosterweelverbinding - a project so large, stubborn, and time-consuming that some people are calling it the biggest engineering project in Europe this century. Which is exactly the kind of sentence engineers read and immediately think:
“Okay but… how big?”

What Is the Oosterweelverbinding?

In simple terms: Antwerp decided its ring road wasn’t ringy enough, so engineers are completing it using tunnels, sunk elements, demolished viaducts, and an impressive disregard for convenience.

Instead of boring a single tunnel and calling it a day, they chose violence.

Here’s what’s happening:

• Massive tunnel sections are built elsewhere, because casting concrete underwater is rude

• These sections are shipped to Antwerp, floated into position, and then intentionally sunk into the riverbed

• The pieces are then connected underwater like a €7 billion LEGO set

• Existing viaducts are demolished

• Additional canal tunnels are added

• Everything is stitched together into one coherent traffic solution

All while the city continues to function. Mostly.

Architects might ask how it looks.

Engineers asked whether it survives load cases, groundwater, shipping traffic, and Belgian weather - and then started pouring concrete.

Huge thanks to Bjorn for the submission - absolutely elite infrastructure taste.
If you have a project that involves sinking, demolishing, drilling, or quietly improving society, you know where to send it.

⚡ Cool Links

👩‍🔬 Scientists can twist tiny crystals to control electricity

🕷️ The quiet push to engineer spider silk

💪 Final count for Stop Killing Games petition verifies 1.3 million of its 1.4 million signatures

🛹 My little Fingerskate Game

🐕‍🦺 Paddy’s Corner

Paddy does NOT play fair...

The little shake of the head at the end is all I need to know 😂

👾 Indie Game of the Week:

They made a game about deep-sea treasure hunting, and it’s basically an oxygen management simulator with consequences.

In Shell Diver, you go deeper, run out of air, panic-upgrade your submarine, and immediately go deeper again - which is just engineering, really.

You collect resources, unlock upgrades, and learn that no amount of optimisation will stop you getting greedy at 700 metres.

👉 Watch the video here: I went DEEP SEA treasure hunting!

It’s time for a Bridge Review!

This week’s submission is “Building Bridges” - a large art installation of six giant hands reaching toward each other and heroically failing to function as a bridge.

Installed in Venice, a city famously full of actual bridges, this piece boldly occupies waterfront space while offering zero load capacity, zero crossings, and zero solutions.

🔧 Engineering Highlights

• Spans nothing

• Carries no load

• Cannot be crossed, driven on, or trusted

• Excellent at being photographed

• Outstanding commitment to not being infrastructure

This is what happens when architects hear the word “bridge” and interpret it emotionally instead of structurally.
No deck. No struts. No function.

Final Score: 0.8 / 10
(+ points for not collapsing, I guess..)

Submit your bridges - preferably ones that actually connect two things.